Why can't people be more like dogs? Dogs are great friends, completely hilarious, and fiercely loyal. They're always ready for a good time and excited to see you. They're appropriate for any occasion and will never embarrass you, bore you or tire you out with annoying conversation. People, on the other hand, are rude, unkempt, blithering slobs. They shouldn't even be allowed in the same rooms as dogs, and if you had your way, they wouldn't be. Dogs are clearly superior to people and it's time the world faced up to it.