Why can't people be more like cats? Cats are quiet, naturally clean, completely graceful, and fiercely resilient. They're always properly dressed and perfectly groomed. They're appropriate for any occasion and will never embarrass you, bore you or tire you out with annoying conversation. People, on the other hand, are rude, unkempt, blithering slobs. They shouldn't even be allowed in the same rooms as cats, and if you had your way, they wouldn't be. Cats are clearly superior to people and it's time the world faced up to it.