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Slow Children Texting

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Kids these days don't seem to pay attention to anything that doesn't ping at them from a phone, and when they're dawdling in circles across a lane of traffic it's understandable that your first impulse is to mow them down like they deserve. That'll teach them to cross without looking. But then you realize that you'll just have to deal with a lot of butthurt parents all upset that you smashed their progeny into the asphalt. Wear this tee or hoodie as a joke until you can get your sweet revenge.