You've put down the last piece of chalk, tossed the last apple out the window and held a bonfire with your grade books. You're happier than a kid who discovers it's a snow day; your whole life is going to be one long snow day. You're free. You'll never have to explain to an angry parent why their precious snowflake is failing your class, or explain to the snowflake why hitting other children is wrong. You've abandoned them all to their fate and you couldn't be happier. Enjoy your retirement, former teacher, and don't forget to turn out the lights when you leave.