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It's A Jake Thing, You Wouldn't Understand

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You're a Jake, and that makes you part of a very special group. It probably only has a few million members but that's not the point. The point is that, as a Jake, you have a special understanding of the world. You can't explain it because, well, you aren't really sure what it is. But you know it's there. Anyway, the point is that you and the other Jakes are the only ones who know the Mysteries of Jake. And that's the way it's going to stay. That's fine with us, Jake.