I'm A Successful Adult

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Black
Royal Blue
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You've made it. You've survived childhood, puberty and adolescence with your limbs and faculties mostly intact. You had many opportunities to kill yourself out of sheer stupidity and you escaped each one. Now you're celebrating that great cultural marker of maturity. You bought vegetables. Well, one vegetable. It is still an important milestone worthy of celebration. Show off your accomplishment with this pure cotton tee that, by the way, is machine washable, so please don't call your mom and ask her how to clean it. Wear this tee when you're eating prunes and perusing your retirement accounts. Welcome to adulthood!

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