You had it all perfectly planned, didn't you? You weren't going to be like those other neglectful parents with their undisciplined brats. You would serve home-cooked organic food crafted into origami shapes. You would read books at bedtime. Television would have no place in your kids' lives. Your children would know loving discipline with no yelling or screaming. Then they came along and ruined everything. The kids you dreamed about turned out to be horrifying monsters who only respond to threats and bribery. It's a tough lesson but every parent goes through it so at least you've got plenty of company. Wear this tee with unwashed hair and a resigned smile.