You have someone who's always there when you want her, who always makes sure you have good, fresh food to eat and cold beer to drink. She never nags at you to lose weight, in fact she holds all your food for you. She doesn't tell you how to dress or act. She just feeds you and works for you, day and night. She's the perfect girlfriend and you talk to her every day. Some have called her frigid, but you know that's not true. Whenever you go to her she lights up. Enjoy your romance and have another beer.