Dad, if anyone deserves a tee or hoodie, you do. You've got those beautiful daughters and it's a full-time job just keeping away every trifling loser who tries to get his useless, lazy paws on one of your beauties. You've done your best. The yard is mined, the guns are loaded, the gas tanks are full and you're on red alert every time one of your princesses goes out on a date. Don't worry, Dad. One day they'll be married and then you'll have sons-in-law to terrorize.