You worked hard all those years, dragging yourself to a job you could barely stand, putting up with colleagues who drove you up the wall daily, for a boss who would give Satan a run for his money, and all for a paycheck that would be a joke if it weren’t so tragic. Yup, you did your time. And now you’re free.
Here’s your reward. No more punching clocks or wanting to punch people in the face. No more deadlines, no more weekends wasted on boring chores, no more indulging in whatever it took to get you through every rotten day. You’re retired, and like our tee says, “Every Day is Saturday When You’re Retired.”
That’s right, every day is a day off from now on. People can yammer on all they want about long commutes, endless meetings and stupid corporate policies. You’ve been there, done that. Here’s your tee: “I Don’t Care. I’m Retired.”
Now, being retired from a job doesn’t mean being retired from life. After all, “Fifty is the New Forty” and “Sixty is the New Fifty.” It’s true, you’ve got plenty of life left in you. That’s why you can say “I’m Retired, I Need My Daily Dose of Iron,” and you’re not talking about vitamins.
And fortunately you have a great retirement plans, if that means plans for your retirement. “I Have a Retirement Plan, I Plan to Go Camping,” will set them straight about what you’re doing. Maybe you intend to fill your free days with fishing, boating or hunting. Heck, you could try them all since every day is a free day. Don’t you love repeating that? In fact, don’t you love everything about not having to work? If you do you’ll definitely want our tee or hoodie that says, “I Don’t Always Enjoy Being Retired…Oh Wait, Yes I Do.”
You’ll probably find that the best part of being retired is getting to gloat over everyone who’s still out there grinding away at work. You know they envy you, you know they turn green and want to punch your lights out every time they see you whistling off on your way to play golf, go shopping, garden, have lunch or any other damn thing you like, whenever you damn well want to. Let it burn them up. You’ve earned this. And remember to tell them, “Warning: I’m Retired. I Know Everything and Have Plenty of Time to Talk About it.”
At I Love Apparel, we think you should enjoy your hard-earned retirement. You don’t need to wear a suit or pantyhose anymore, thank God, so be comfortable in one or more of our cotton tees and hoodies. They’ll keep you looking good when you’re shaking your fists at drivers and yelling at the kids to get off your lawn.