You're a psychologist and you know what you get called. You're a shrink, a witch doctor, a headshrinker, a giver of the checkup from the neck up. People love asking you who your craziest patient was, or if the people in your addiction support group are driving you to drink. They seem to think you can hypnotize them or perform weird mental tricks on them.
You hear that stuff even if you're not a therapist, even if you're in research or teaching, but people don't care. They just lump you in with the head-shrinking crew and call it a day.
You also get hit with a lot of people wanting free counseling from you. They seem to think that fifteen minutes of party chit-chat will fix all their deep-seated problems.
And in reality, you don't mind all that much. You like letting them think that you have some deep insights into human nature that nobody else can figure out. Let them keep yapping away about their narcissistic mother and their inappropriate anger and whatever else they're nattering on about. The next time you want to scream from boredom at hearing their pathetic stories yet again, or fight the urge to smack them upside the head, try this instead. Wear this tee or hoodie: "Keep Talking. I'm Diagnosing You."
Heck, they think that's what you're doing anyway, so just reinforce it and have some fun as they wonder what particular diagnosis you're giving them. Just adopt a mysterious, knowing smile and watch them sweat.
It's not that you don't want to help people. You became a shrink, excuse us we mean therapist, precisely because you wanted to help people. You also know that there are a lot of people out there who could use the help. That's why you'll feel at home wearing this tee or hoodie: "If You Can't Keep Calm, Talk to a Psychologist." Advice about keeping calm is all well and good, but as you know, some people just can't do it without help. That's where you come in.
Your work is fulfilling and you enjoy it, so you'll take all the bad jokes and misinformation.
If you're not a psychologist but happen to be married to one, or in love with one, show your support by wearing a tee that says, "Sorry, This Girl is Already Taken by a Smart and Sexy Psychologist," or "Sorry, This Guy is Already Taken by a Smart and Sexy Psychologist."
At I Love Apparel, we have had lots of psychologists throw their hands up over us, but we love you folks anyway. We know you love what you do, and we've got some great psychologist-themed tees and hoodies. You're sure to find one you're crazy about.