Meat, wonderful meat. It's your favorite treat. You can eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and heck, even dessert.
You like any kind of meat, and you liked it cooked any way it comes. Grill it, roast it, saute' it, smother it, slow-cook it, bake it or fricassee it, you don't care as long as it's got something that used to be alive in it. You're a little obsessed, it's true. You only attend parties where they're serving meat. You only work to support your food addiction. It's time to admit you've got a problem: you like pig butts and you cannot lie.
You thought about giving it up at one time, for about five seconds. You've met vegetarians but you're puzzled. You don't understand how anybody could give up the most mouth-watering food in the world. So you did consider giving up meat, but in the end you decided that begin a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Ah, steak. That's one of your favorites. So is pork, especially in bacon form. Another is chicken. You like your poultry just fine, thanks, and you've been known to use the nickname Lord of the Wings. Get it? Of course you do, every chance you can you're getting your paws on some yummy wings. When it comes to meat, you are always in feast mode.
As a person who believes that if it doesn't have meat, it's a snack, you've probably faced your share of critics. It's likely you've been told that you need to balance your diet, and no, that doesn't mean eating some beef jerky while walking on a balance beam. Maybe they're right, maybe you should eat some spinach or kale or some other vile weed, but here's the problem. While meat is delicious, kale sucks. And salad is what your food eats. Sure it's healthier but who wants to eat it? Not you, Grillfather.
You've probably also heard that you should think about the animals. And you do, in fact you love animals, they taste delicious. You have nothing against them. As a matter of fact, you'd like to get as many animals as you can--in your freezer and on your grill. You can't help it; you see a big steer and all you can think is, "nice rack!"
At I Love Apparel, we say you should chow down happily on whatever kind of food makes you happy, and we offer a full line of tees and hoodies that say you're proud to be a carnivore.